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A Frustrated Woman and a Happy Woman

Here are two interesting, and highly contrasting emails:

EMAIL from Frustrated Woman:

Dear Mr. Shade,

I love my boyfriend very much.  He feels really great in bed… but even though we’ve discussed some sexual techniques, fantasies, etc. I believe he’s all talk, and pretty much inexperienced (he comes from a male dominant family, tons of guy friends, few girl friends, and no one talks about sex it seems – unless it’s porn talk).

My want with him sexually, is for him to get me to that point and help me over the top.  I feel selfish and I am holding back a lot of what we can be doing together, because I WANT to come too.  I worry that if I make sex as exciting as I really want it to be, he just wont be able to handle it.  Okay, basically, I’m saying: while he can make me cum very nicely, it’s a surprise for both of us, like a lucky session or something.  He tries his best to hold on as long as he can, while I “take forever” in coming… and usually, I lose.

I ask for things and he acts squeamish or confused, or like it’s just my body that isn’t responding fast enough… but he does feel sorry and regretful that he “couldn’t last”.

He is inexperienced.  I want him to know, hear, read, believe, that he needs to fuck my brains before he fvcks my body, that it helps get me where we both want me to be.  I want him to understand that his holding back on doing other things to please me sexually (i.e. oral, nipple stim, etc.) makes me feel unsexy, undesirable, not loved or respected enough to be worth the “effort”.

My question is:  Which book of yours should I buy that will help him learn this?

I love the guy – but I don’t think I am capable of just loving him and being the hole he fills when the need arises (sense the frustration).  I like feeling lucky… but I want to be lucky all the time.

I used to think love holds so much more value than sex, but I AM sexual and that little bit of feeling “left behind” is beginning to wear on me, and I can’t stop my mind from believing that there is someone else who will love me AND naturally want to satisfy this basic need, as well.

Thanks so much for your wisdom.  I am thrilled that you are spreading the word to these men.  It’s good to read that men are just as interested in pleasing a woman as they are in having their own great O. Though, I’m thinking you’re teaching them, it goes hand in hand, so to speak.

(ego boost for man = happy woman = win!!)

**I too wonder sometimes if you really are a woman, because you know SO much truth about us!**

Frustrated

My Comments:

Ms. Frustrated, Thank you for the compliment, and I assure you I am a man.  I know so much truth about women because I made the effort to understand.

Ms. Frustrated, here’s some advice: avoid men who come from sexist machismo families.

You are not selfish for wanting your man to “help you over the top” and give you an orgasm.  That is the idea.

It is unfortunate that he would not be able to handle it if you made sex as exciting as you really want it to be.

You said he tries his best to “hold on as long as he can” and feels bad that he “couldn’t last” while he says that you “take forever to come”.  That reveals that he is trying to make you orgasm in intercourse before even giving you orgasms in foreplay.  That already says that he is a selfish and ignorant lover.  And that fact that he puts the blame on you is completely unacceptable.

It is interesting that you use the term that you lose.  It makes it a race to have an orgasm.  That is not going to facilitate orgasms.

You are correct in that he needs to fuck your brains before he fucks your body.  That mental stimulation is what will help you get where you want to be.

Yes, he needs to understand that his holding back on doing other things to please you sexually (i.e. oral, nipple stimulation, etc.) makes you feel un-sexy, undesirable, not loved or respected enough to be worth the “effort”.

He cannot possibly love you if he sees you as just being the hole he fills when the need arises.  And yes, your frustration is sensed.

Love does not cure all.  Plus, if he is sexually selfish, he does not really love you.

Your sexuality is your birthright.  Of course you feel left behind.

Your boyfriend will never read my programs because he is an ignorant selfish lover.  The only men who read my programs and benefit from them are men who actually want to give their woman incredible pleasure.

You are correct in believing that there is someone else who will love you AND naturally want to satisfy your basic need.

You need to dump your boyfriend and get yourself a Masterful Lover.

EMAIL from Happy Woman:

Hi David,

I just recently found your website and found it to be, well amazing… alot of fantasies that most women have, and this is all very new for me.

To make a long story short, I was married for 22 years, and now divorced.  The sex was the same boring sex… traditional.

When I started reading your material, I couldn’t stop reading.  I as a woman have had these fantasies, but never had them done, but I also never asked.

I am in a relationship now with a great guy.   After reading your material, I made him read it… and I will tell you I call him a skilled lover.  I have done things with him that I never ever dreamed about doing, only fantasized about… FIREWORKS!! FIREWORKS!! FIREWORKS… and I just want to say THANK YOU!!!!!!!

Linda

My Comments:

Linda, you are welcome.

You did the correct thing telling your man to read my material.

And you selected wisely by selecting a man who is genuinely interested in your pleasure.  Success begins by selecting wisely.

A lot of women don’t have the gonads enough to tell there man to read my material.  They are afraid they will hurt their man’s ego.  But those women just go on being frustrated.

Ladies, grow a pair of iron ovaries and tell your man to read my book “A Woman’s Mind Revealed”.  It will tell him exactly what you need to have.

A Woman’s Mind Revealed

Give women incredible pleasure,
David Shade


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