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What To Say In The Bedroom

There is a way to talk to your woman in the bedroom that will bring out her sexuality…

*** EMAIL from Tim:

Hello, David.

Cliche as it is, I decided to do something significant with myself for the new year.  I admired your work, and decided to order your “David Shade’s Manual”.  While I did not consider myself a bad lover by any means, nor do I have girl troubles… I wanted to improve myself.  I wanted to go beyond “great” and get to “Unbelievable.”

In the past, I have unintentionally done some of the methods outlined, such as invoking imagination to make her feel *really* nice things.  Also, I’ve used the “Taking Pictures” talk (more or less) to draw subjects for my art.  So, while the information is not entirely foreign to me, it is still above and beyond what many women would expect.  The material is platinum.

My question is about your language you use with women you are with.  It is very unique.  It’s soothing, it’s sensual, I like it.

I would describe your language as poetic and hypnotic. You are consistent with your words, and you use a lot of repetition with various words.  It comes off as very gentle and secure I suppose.  Often times you use the words ‘exciting’ ‘sexual’ and ‘pleasure’, and I don’t see many contractions.  Your speech is direct and authoritative (which I know to be good on many levels).

A quick example is from your Manual…

YOU: “Are you excited right now Debbie?”
HER: “Yes.”
YOU: “Do you feel sexual right now Debbie?”
HER: “Yes.”
YOU: “Do you want to go into trance now and feel incredible indescribable pleasure now Debbie?”
HER: “Yes.”

You get her to answer in the affirmative more than once with one word responses.  I see this often in your work. Does this create a feeling of agreement and comfort in you leading?  Your language is descriptive in the 3rd sentence, and of course in many things you say.  I would ask if this serves the purpose of invoking imagination, and perhaps a little bit of that romantic, poetic language?

I would be more likely to use “Are you feeling good right now, Debbie?”  “How would you like to go into trance to feel even better?”  It’s more open-ended than your language.  Then again, when I communicate, I use the word “feel” a lot.

Call me crazy, but I see a tremendous difference in what your language says about you when you talk to these women, and what it says about most other guys who use the same language patterns.  They use: “That’s hot” “That’s cool”  “Mmm, that gets me horny baby.”  As opposed to what you use: “That is very sexy” “That is wonderful” and “That excites me very much, baby.”

While I am not unhappy with the way I talk, I would like to make it more inherently sensual and soothing (appealing in general).  Any recommendations?

And by all means, feel free to use anything I say as testimonial.

Thank you and Cheers,



Thank you Tim for your testimonial.  And thank you for articulating very well how to do it!  I think you have answered your own question.

There is a saying in the legal community: “A lawyer never asks a question in court that he does not already know the answer to.”  I would add to that:

“A true lover never asks a question in bed
that he does not already know the answer to be ‘Yes.'”

Getting her to answer ‘Yes’ in repetition is called a “yes ladder.”  It sets up a pattern where she answers ‘yes’ to all of your questions.  You ask three things that you know she will answer yes to.  She surrenders further upon each yes and experiences her sexuality deeper with each yes.  Then you add on another question that you want her to answer yes to.

It becomes more likely that she will answer yes since she already answered yes three times.  And to do so must be such that she surrenders even further and experiences her sexuality even deeper.

One small step at a time.

And make sure that your question is posed such that all that is required of her to answer is to simply say ‘yes.’  You do not want to ask her a question that she has to step aside from her experience to find the right choice of words in order to answer.  That would be distracting for her.

When you are leading a woman,
your words must be “leading.”

They must be direct and authoritative, as if spoken by a “leader.”  Your language must be deterministic.  If you want her to surrender and follow, you must lead with absolute conviction.  You must be very secure in yourself.

To be very secure in yourself in a sexual situation, you must be comfortable with her sexuality.  To do that, you must be comfortable with your own sexuality.

At the same time, you must be gentle.  Make it poetic to elicit her romantic emotions.  Use repetition of key words such that her mind has clear instructions of how to follow.  Repetition along with a soothing yet secure voice is hypnotic, which allows her mind to slip in even deeper, which allows her to surrender even more.

Each day you want her to allow herself to surrender even further to you.  Your ultimate goal is to allow her to feel totally and completely naked to you in every way possible; physically, emotionally, and spiritually. This is when a woman experiences her Nirvana of sexuality.

  • 1 Comment


  1. Ken says:

    You say to be comfortable with her sexuality you must be comfortable with your own sexuality. How does one become comfortable with there own sexuality?

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