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Hi, I'm David Shade, and I'd like to talk to you about the social programming misconceptions that have disempowered men and as a result have left women disappointed.
Popular Myths About Sexuality
Myth # 1 Women don't want sex.
This one is incredibly prevalent. It has a lot of nasty and ugly variations. Such as:
- Women don't enjoy sex.
- Women have no sex drive.
- Women only trade sex to get a guy or get married.
Or worse, women only trade sex to get gifts (or you can fill in: money/ status/ whatever.)
We've all heard these. They are not true.
Now this doesn't mean there aren't some corner cases where this is true. But in the vast majority of cases, it is a bunch of crap.
Guys perpetuate these stories, because they don't know how to get a woman to enjoy having sex with them.
But the real truth is that... women want to have sex!
The fact is, women LOVE sex. They love it, but only when they are comfortable with a man they trust and a man who respects them.
Now just to be clear on this, the fact that women love sex does not mean that they are promiscuous. It doesn't mean that they go sleep around. Not at all.
Think about it, it was social conditioning that had us believe that women have to be talked into having sex, or that it's a chore that she performs, or that it's an obligation. That's all crap.
Women love sex. Women actually want to have sex. It's not a reward; they love it. They want to have good sex.
You can actually find it in women's fantasy books. Women's fantasies are far more detailed and erotic than any guy can come up with. You can check a book out called 'My Secret Garden' by Nancy Friday. You're eyes will be opened up.
Here is something that even a lot of guys find hard to believe: Women are actually more sexual than men.
But don't take my word for it. Hear it from women...
Heather Ann: "If there is one thing that I want to say to men on this call, is that everything that David has ever talked about in his books is so true. You guys are sitting here reading the book or listening to this tape, saying there is no way that this woman that I went on a date with last week named Betty wants this. I am telling you she does, she does, just be patient. If she feels good about herself and feels sexual she is going to want to have it all the time. More than him sometimes."
Myth # 2: Some Women Just Can't Have Orgasms In Sex
According to statistics, only 30% of women have vaginal orgasms in intercourse. Source: "The Hite Report" page 134.
Many women fake orgasms just so their man will stop, or so as not to bruise his ego. The woman knows it's not going to happen, so she wants it to end so she can go to sleep.
Those women believe that they are just not "one of the lucky ones" who can have vaginal orgasms, as if they were dealt a bad hand.
You may have used it as an excuse when you weren't able to give your last girlfriend an orgasm in intercourse.
Some people may even have you believe that it is an anatomical deficiency. Some sexologists state that some women are not born with as much "clitoral erectile tissue" within the front wall of the vagina and that women should not set expectations for themselves which would lead to disappointment.
Actually, that sets women up for a self-limiting belief.
It is just another lie that keeps people from enjoying the full potential of their sexuality.
And now for the truth:
The truth of the matter is that there is no such thing as some women being pre-ordained to have vaginal orgasms, and some not. All women are born with a vagina and a brain. Every woman is perfectly equipped to have vaginal orgasms.
The reasons why some women are not having vaginal orgasms are not anatomical. They are invented reasons, such as chemical, emotional, or self-consciousness.
Among the chemical issues are prescription drugs, the most popular being anti-depressants.
Among the emotional issues include sexual abuse trauma, abandonment issues, trust issues, low self-esteem causing insufficient sense of deservedness for pleasure, inability to lose control to the pleasure in her body, etc, etc.
As for self-consciousness, the most popular by far is the self-consciousness caused when they feel they are going to pee, which causes them to back down and thus miss out.
An alternative to this lie is: "Women Can Only Have Clitoral Orgasms"
This lie has been perpetuated by clitoral dependency. Most women have always used her clitoris to have an orgasm and have never made any attempt on her own to experiment with vaginal stimulation. And usually, she is with a man who doesn't have a clue.
So nobody makes the effort to awaken her vagina.
But I have trained thousands of my clients how to give their woman vaginal orgasms. Now all their women have vaginal orgasms in intercourse every time.
Another alternative to this lie is: "Vaginal Orgasms Are Actually Just Clitoral Orgasms"
Some sexologists will have you believe that intercourse causes stimulation of the wings of the clitoris causing indirect stimulation of the glans of the clitoris. Then how would they explain anal orgasms, or even nipple orgasms?
And sexologists go on to say that the vagina does not have sensitive nerve endings.
In actuality, the vagina has many highly responsive sensitive areas.
With just your middle finger, you can give a woman her very first vaginal orgasm.
It all has to do with knowledge and beliefs. Get the correct knowledge and take on enabling beliefs, and I guarantee you that you will give your woman vaginal orgasms in intercourse every time.
Myth # 3: Nice Girls Don't Do That.
So let's take a look at this one big lie.
Nice girls don't do that. Now how many times have you thought that yourself? Here are some variations on that.
Nice girls won't do the kinky stuff; they just want to make love. They don't want to have really wild throw down, rip up the sheets, sex.
Nice girls are offended by dirty talk. This is one of the biggest things that keep guys from giving women what they want. In actuality, women love dirty talk!
What if she's from a very religious family? Once when Mark Cunningham was asked about religious women, he said "Preachers daughters are the wildest, second only to the preacher's wives."
Inside the context of a very religious relationship, it is perfectly acceptable to be completely wild with your partner in the bedroom.
Another variation: "Nice girls won't get slutty in the bedroom". The fact is they absolutely love to. Now here's the thing, the women won't do the kinky stuff unless you're man enough to lead them.
In The real world, nice girls love wild sex as much as or even more so than the bad girls.
Women want to get slutty but she does not want to be a slut or be labeled a slut. So if you want this to happen, you are going to have to lead her, because she cannot initiate, because that would define her as a slut. She can only be wild with a man who leads her to be that way. And only inside the context of a relationship behind closed doors where the rest of the world would never know anything about it.
With that in mind let's hear it from the women...
Heather Ann: "I grew up in the Texas south. I was told my mother was a virgin until she got married. The whole nine yards. I grew up in the Baptist church in Texas. I was a virgin until I was 22 and I had made a solemn vow to the church that I was going to be a virgin until I got married. A woman wants to be slutty in the bedroom. That doesn't mean that she is a slut. There is a type of distinction for the word. She wants to be slutty, she wants to be sexy, and she wants to wear the lingerie for her man. She wants to make him feel good and show her body off, and feel fun and feel sexy. She wants to feel that way and be kind of slutty in the bedroom. That does not mean she is a quote unquote slut, in American term, meaning sleeping with a bunch of men."
Anne: "Women enjoy being talked dirty to. They need to be talked dirty to. And they don't think it's offensive, if that's what men are worried about."
Myth # 4: Women Don't Want To Be Dominated
Men are such nice guys. They think women just want to "make tender love".
The fact is that the overwhelming majority of women are sexually submissive. They actually want their man to be sexually dominant. In fact, they want their man to get nasty.
You see, women live a life of dichotomies.
During the day, she wants to be appreciated by the people in her life as being proper and innocent, but at night, in the privacy of the bedroom, with her man that she trusts and loves, she wants to be ruthlessly sexual.
During the day, she is in control of her life and her destiny, but at night, in the bedroom, she wants to be submissive to the control of her man.
In her everyday life, a woman does not like to be told what to do. But in the context of sexuality with her man, she responds very powerfully to being told exactly what to do.
During the week, she is very responsible, but on the weekends with her man, in the context of sexuality, she wants to be totally without responsibility.
Men hesitate to be dominant in the bedroom because they think it would disrespect the woman. Instead, you must respect her wishes to be dominated in the bedroom.
There you have it. Be dominant in the bedroom, just like the bad boys do it. Women love it, in fact, they become addicted!
Myth # 5: Experience Means Good In Bed
Men who don't have a lot of experience are intimidated, thinking that it takes experience to be good in bed.
I know many women who divorced their experienced husbands because they were lousy lovers.
There are countless experienced men who are lousy in bed. It is a huge complaint of women.
So experience does not make for being a good lover. What makes for being a good lover is having the correct knowledge and beliefs.
Even a virgin can do it. In fact, some of my best testimonials come from men who on their very first night gave their woman her very first vaginal orgasm.
One of my clients, Rich, was a virgin when he met his current girlfriend Erin. Even though Erin had previous boyfriends, Rich was the man who gave her her very first vaginal orgasm.
Now Erin's girlfriends are jealous of her. Erin enjoys orgasms in intercourse, but her girlfriends, with their experienced men, have never been given a vaginal orgasm.
Being a Masterful Lover has nothing to do with experience. It has everything to do with knowledge and beliefs. Get the correct knowledge and take on the enabling beliefs.
Myth # 6: Size Matters
Men are obsessed with the size of their 'tool'. This is a question that you already have your mind made up on.
If you think size matters, or you think size doesn't matter, either way, you're right.
If you think size matters, then your sexual power is defined by your size.
But if you want to be sexually powerful, read on...
Let's talk about reality...
Female Vaginal Orgasms Are NOT Determined By Size.
If a woman IS vaginally orgasmic, a finger would do it.
If a woman is NOT vaginally orgasmic, NOTHING would do it, no matter how big.
(By the way, the best method to give a woman her very first vaginal orgasm is by using your middle finger and the deep spot technique.)
The truth is that...
Size does NOT determine if a woman will, or will not, have a vaginal orgasm in intercourse. And vaginal orgasms in intercourse is what matters.
This is further verified by emails I regularly receive from women...
Mary: "I had sex with a man that had a medium size penis and I used to cum like crazy. Now I have met this other guy that is well endowed with a very nice size penis, but it is really hard for me to cum. Can you help me figure this out?"
Some women ask me why their well endowed man is not giving her vaginal orgasms in intercourse, but her average sized ex was always giving her vaginal orgasms in intercourse.
Some women used to have a well endowed ex who never gave her vaginal orgasms but now her modestly endowed man is regularly giving them to her.
And there are many married women who ask me what they can do because their well endowed husband never gives her orgasms.
There has never been a case where a woman has vaginal orgasms only with large men but never has vaginal orgasms with modestly sized men. It all makes sense when you understand that sexuality for women is entirely mental and when you understand that with just your middle finger you can give a woman her very first vaginal orgasm.
Women on my free newsletter list write me all the time and ask me "Where can I meet a Masterful Lover?!" They never ask where they can meet a 'bigger' guy.
(By the way, if a woman ever tells you that she will only have sex with well endowed men, then you can be sure that she's never had a vaginal orgasm. Just a little side note there.)
An alarming number of women NEVER orgasm during intercourse with a partner, and it has nothing to do with size.
Instead of worrying about 'size', learn how to leverage the mental aspects of female sexuality.
Myth # 7: Women Have All The Power
Men complain that a woman can walk into any bar and take a man home in five minutes. From that, men conclude that women have all the power.
If you are a man playing the game of who can get sex in five minutes, you lose. Women have you beat at that game, easily. Does that make you feel powerless? If you have that defeatist attitude, you are not empowered.
But women don't play that game.
Men look at the question "who can get sex?" But women look at the question "who can get fulfillment?"
This does NOT mean that women don't care about sex, they care about sex very much. In fact, they care about really good sex. But for women, really good sex seems so elusive. Women are frustrated that they do not have orgasms in sex. How many men are frustrated that they do not have orgasms in sex? Not many. Reality points to the fact that women have all the frustration.
If women had all the power, then why are there so many frustrated and unfulfilled women?
Women want to be with a man with whom she will be fulfilled. But the reality of the situation is that all too many women are unfulfilled. They do not feel powerful; they feel frustrated that they can't find what they really want.
Women do not believe they are powerful because they could get laid in five minutes. For them, there is no power in that. It is not even considered. It means nothing to her. Women do not believe they have any granted power to get what they want.
What she really wants is to be with a real man, a man who is an exciting lover, a man who will make her do things she is too inhibited to do but deep down inside she really wants to do. She wants to be with a man who's going to bring out that ruthlessly expressive animalistic natural sexual creature in her, a man who she can totally surrender to and be swept away by.
Only with such a man can she have all that she needs. She NEEDS that. And as a result, one could conclude that men have all the power.
However, the healthy way to look at it is that it takes two to Tango. You are the masculine compliment to her femininity. She is the feminine compliment to your masculinity.
Do not think about "getting sex." Instead, think about obliging her need for "really good sex."